Joey's Story
| This is Joey, my son. He was born on June 21,1971.Joey was hyperactive as a child, and at the age of 17 we discovered he was mentally ill. Mediciation helped him, and at the age of 24 he was able to go into a group home, to prepare him to live on his own eventually. We, his family,were all so proud of him,he was doing so well. Then on June9,1998, tragedy struck. He was riding his bicycle to the store, when he was struck from behind, by a car, He was NOT wearing a helmet, by the time the ambulance got there, his pupils were fixed and dilated, which means he had no brain activity. He was airlifted to our local trauma hospital, and underwent emergency brain surgery to relieve the swelling in his brain.. At the time of this writing it is unknown how this is going to end. He is in critical condition, with tubes,wires, and bottles hooked up to him.The Doctors aren't even sure how he is going to do. They tell me that only 20% of his brain is functioning at this time. Since so little is known about the brain, they don't know whether he will wake up, talk, walk, or even breathe without help.Our hearts are broken, and all because he didn't wear a helmet! I have been doing some research in this area since then, and one thing I did find out is that there is not one state that has made it a law to wear helmets, for adults as well as children. I want to know WHY? |  |
June 15, 1998
Joey has had a few setbacks over the weekend..I have had to discuss the possibility of pulling the plug on him with his father, sister and brother.His sister and brother don't want to hear that he wont be like the way he was, all they want to hear is that he will be back to normal..I know and so does his father that that's not going to happen. I just want it to be over for him. I love him too much to see him as a vegetable for the rest of his life. I think I am writing this as much for me as for other mothers to see. I hope that it will help save someones life, and keep other mothers from going through the same heartbreak as I am.. | |
|
Today I went up to the ICU to see my nephew. My sisters second child.I was 11
yrs old when he was born and waited it seemed at the time an eternity. When he
was born i was so thrilled. He was such a beautiful baby. As he grew I grew. I
soon had a family of my own. Joey and my son became friends and I felt the
love between them. My sister and I always smiled when Anthony and Joey were
together.
Time went on and Joe needed some independence and training. How proud we were
when he went to the group home. He was happy and felt like an adult.
Then that terrible gut wrenching heart breaking news came via the telephone.
How do u tell your loved ones that this child/ man is badly hurt. He may never
open his eyes we might never hear his laugh again.
Today i held his hand while the vent kept him breathing and the IVs maintained
his vital signs.But his body is wracked with fever, and the flush to his
cheeks makes him look "healthy". I touched his cheek and whispered I LOVE YOU
. I kissed his hand and whispered please wake up. I prayed to god please give
him back. He never answered me his eyes didnt flutter and he kept sleeping. If only I could help him . If only he WORE HIS HELMET! If only we could reach everyone and tell them. If only....... | |
June 16,1998
| Got a call from the hospital, they want to do more surgery and put more holes in Joeys head to relieve the pressure..NO! I wont allow it...Neither will his father, sister, and brother..But its so hard to let him go..The Doctor explains to John what is happening, and I can see Johns heart is as broken as mine. We don't want to give our Joey up, we love him so much. But we love him too much to see him like this...He would not want this at all.All his vital signs are going crazy, he has a temp of 101, possible pluerisy, and his brain waves are not as good as they were yesterday..I wonder if this means that his brain is dying..I know we have to let him go, but I want him to hang on till my Dad comes..Joey is his namesake.I was with him for 5 hours today, and as I get ready to leave I tell him I love you very much.The pain is unbearable, and I don't know how much longer I can go on being strong.I thought the pain was bad when my husband died two years ago, but it is nothing compared to losing a child..Your child is supposed to outlive you not the other way around.. | |
June 19,1998
| Today I asked the Doctor to withdraw all his medications, it is time to let him go.The Doctor has agreed to do as I ask..John and Stacy agree it is time..It has been the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my entire life..And for the rest of my life I will wonder at times,was it the right thing to do, but I know deep in my heart, that it is the right thing..All this over a simple thing such as a helmet, which cost maybe 15 dollars.. | |
June 21,1998
| Today my Joey is 27 years old. Will he make it to his next birthday? And if he does, will he ever come back to us the way he was? There is no way to know. I went up to the hospital yesterday, and pinned a flower to his nightgown, in honor of the birthday he would not be able to celebrate.It broke my heart. | |
June23,1998
| I took my Mom and Dad up to see Joey yesterday, my Dad spent a lot of time talking to Joey, no response of course.I had an official meeting with his neurosurgeon,and requested all treatments and medications be stopped.I have to meet with him and another Doctor from the Ethics Committee,to request it from the Hospital.They did another catscan on him, I guess I will get the results from that today. God what a nightmare!Its two weeks today since Joeys accident, it feels like a lifetime to me. | |
More from Robin
June 23, 1998
| Everyone keeps calling our house to see how Joeys doing. What can I say to them. I feel I have to offer them some comfort to give some good news. But there isnt any to give. His lungs are filled with fluid, his temperature is 104. His coma deeper and more progressive. Is he in there fighting for his young life? Can he hear us? Can he sense us touching him, talking to him, feel our tears? I WANT HIM BACK. I want to give my sister back her son. Her strength amazes me. Her endurance is beyond my comprehension. But she fights and she keeps going. I worry about her. I worry about us. What are we going to do without Joey, how will we go on? My mind refuses to acknowledge the possibility, my heart does. I wont let go of him I WONT. My son can't. HE spoke about Joey today for the first time. The tears show the heartbreak in his face. He is 14 his cousin is not supposed to die yet. They are supposed to go fishing this summer and hang out. I can't offer him any comfort, I can't explain the whys or the how comes. I only know one thing, life throws you good hard knocks in the face, and somehow we all go on. That is the only thing that keeps me going. It amazes me that everything else is so "normal." That we go to work complain about money taxes whatever. While this young man lies dying in ICU. It reads like a Stephen King novel to me. How horrific, it all seems surreal. Yet I go to work and hold back the pain for a few hours. I love you Joey and I KNOW you can hear me and feel me. I love you. | |
June 23,1998
| I met with the ethics committee, this evening, Mom,Dad,Uncle Barry, Joanne,and Debby were there with me..It was the hardest thing I ever have had to do in my entire life, to ask the committee to let my son go.His lungs have almost given up the fight to live, and so has his brain.I almost broke down in front of everyone, I cant do that!I am trying to hang on, but its so hard.They have taken away the medicine that keeps him paralyzed. After it is out of his system they will disconnect the vent. He will probably die then, but at least his fight will be over, and he will be at peace.I will not stop fighting for a law to be passed that says EVERYONE should wear a helmet! I don't think anyone wants to go through the pain that we are going through. | |
June 24,1998
| Joey died last night. His lungs just couldn't help him breathe any more.My Baby is at peace.But God how I miss him.! His brother and sister and I just came back from making funeral arrangements.Arrangements I never thought I would ever have to make..We are all devastated!In the middle of all of this, the pictures we had taken of Joey in the hospital, came in. I have put one of them on here, in hopes that it will register with people, and literally scare the life out of them, enough to make them buy a helmet and use it or write a letter to their congressman, or ANYTHING!DON"T LET THIS WONDERFUL YOUNG MAN DIE FOR NOTHING! Please help me make a difference in some other mothers life by helping to keep her child safe!I purposelly put this picture in as a close up and full screen, so it will have taken a while to load. | |
June27,1998
| I have had a lot of mixed email from people, some who think there shouldn't be a law governing the use of helmets. Well you do have a right to your opinion, and I have a right to mine.But I sure hope that there never comes a day when your family has to do what we just did, and that was to bury my son.I still believe that it should be a law, because if it had been my son would be alive today, with maybe just a broken elbow.But I sincerely hope that this story just makes you think, and decide that maybe a helmet isn't a bad idea after all. | |
More from Robin
| How any one of you who have read and seen Joey lying in that bed refuse to wear a helmet is beyond me!! Perhaps you have already suffered "some damage." But the most frightening thing to me is the thought that perhaps these people allow their children to go without protective gear. As a nurse I have witnessed MANY MANY family tragedies due to ignorance. The people reading Joeys story cannot plead ignorance. Nor stupidity. Although this has room for further debate. Of course this is America, and it is your choice not to protect yourself, but consider this. Isn't life worth a little bit of discomfort? Dont you suffer a sting when getting vaccinated for Tetanus? Its the same thing. WEAR A HELMET and make your children wear one too. Educate yourself. Be well, be safe and be happy. God Bless My sweet Joey. God bless our entire family as we try to live without him forever. | |
� � � 
� � � 
To make things a little easier, and so you don't miss any of Joeys Story, just click on the "Next"buttons to go to the next part of this story