To Joeys Story

It has been almost 3 months since Joeys death.The pain hasn't lessened any, I still remember every single dayFrom the moment I wake up, till the moment I fall asleep.I have ok moments, and not so ok moments.I go over the events in my mind, all the time,trying to figure out, what ifs, I know deep inside that is uselessbut it's something I can't help. What is strange or maybe not so strange is that I see him everywhere I go. Recently, my Husband and I went away for the weekend, and I saw several things that I thought he would like while I was buying souveniers,I would think,"Joey would like that" then I would remember,and the pain would start all over again.I thought I was alone in feeling this way,but I am not, my family has been feeling these things, too.I received a letter from my sister Robin, which I will share here.

September 8, 1998

I still cant comprehend that you arent here Joey . Everywhere I go I see you. All the time. When Im out in the store I think wow wouldn't he like this. Your cousin Anthony saw a tee shirt you would of liked. But..he stood and said"Mom Joey would love..." then the tears came. We aren't "used" to the idea that you aren't on earth with us anymore. WE aren't "used" to the pain of dealing with such a profound and heartfelt loss. We keep going on as if we cant feel the pain, or it wont come up and bite us. But Joey love it's still there and will continue to be. But honey the memories of the love and laughter you left, lingers and grabs hold of us. Making us realize what a gift you truly were. What a gift this life we have is. Of course it's hard and it sucks sometimes.And how often we lose sight of things as important as human life and each other I miss you honey, and will always miss you, but sometimes ,...for a minute, I can smile and remember you. I regret not spending more time with you.The other night i had a dream , you and I were in train station, You didnt say a word to me , just hugged me and I knew someday I would see you again. I saw your mom today. The pain in her eyes is evident . But her unending love for you is so apparent. I hope someone out there reads this story of our Joey and thinks and puts on that helmet. I for one cannot get on a bike yet. But I do see more adults then kids wearing them. Please be safe and be smart. Please...

Joey and some friends

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